Posted by
beltway girl on Wednesday, March 05, 2008 10:47:49 PM
HILLARY: It's the hat again.
DOCTOR: Okay. Tell me about that.
HILLARY: This time, I turn into the hat, and all the cattle start complaining about being taken in boxcars to a brokered convention. And then, they all start screaming, "Yes, We, Can! Yes, We, Can!"
DOCTOR: Yes, well, we've already discussed the fact that you have deep-rooted anxiety where Obama's charisma, brilliant rhetoric, and ability to connect with the voters are concerned. It's giving you repressed feelings of guilt.
HILLARY: Mmhmm. Well, one of the cattle that was screaming had a cigar in his mouth, and I think it was Rush Limbaugh.
DOCTOR: Yes. Well, this confirms my theory that much of your guilt since the Ohio and Texas primaries stems from subconscious fears that Limbaugh has made you into a pawn by encouraging crossover voters from his own party to vote for you, thus sabotaging Obama's legimtimate chance for victory in the general election. Not to mention the damage done to the party by making the voters watch you viciously attack Senator Obama right through to Pennsylvania and perhaps beyond.
HILLARY: Mmhmm. Well, then the Limbaugh cattle pulls out a cell phone. And all of a sudden, I'm in the White House, and it's--
DOCTOR: 3 a.m.?
HILLARY: Right! So I figure it's Limbaugh calling to torture me, and I don't answer it. But..
DOCTOR: Yes?
HILLARY: Well, it turned out to be a catastrophic crisis in the Middle East, and Obama ended up taking the call. So I got impeached and Obama became president.
DOCTOR: Interesting.
HILLARY: I'm afraid to close my eyes now. I keep hearing the cattle, "Yes, We, Can! Yes, We, Can!"
DOCTOR: Mrs. Clinton, when you were in Ohio, did you eat your way across the state again?
HILLARY: Yes I did.
DOCTOR: Did you by any chance have... a steak?
HILLARY: Yes I did.
DOCTOR: Did you enjoy the steak?
HILLARY: Yes I did.
DOCTOR: Did you leave a tip this time, Mrs. Clinton?
HILLARY, Why, no, I must have forgot-- Oh, oh, I think I see what you're sa--
DOCTOR: Yes, You, Can! Yes, You, Can overcome all of this repressed guilt, Mrs. Clinton. Yes, You, Can!