Posted by
beltway girl on Friday, March 28, 2008 1:35:58 AM
(thanks to Rob Long, National Review, for his columns along this same vein)
The Situation Room transcript, 3/29/08
WOLF BLITZER: And now, as promised, we have Satan for an exclusive interview. Welcome, Satan, to The Situation Room.
SATAN: Thank you, Wolf.
WOLF BLITZER: So, Satan, everyone has been wondering who's going to receive your endorsement in the upcoming general election.
SATAN: Right, well, I think it's good strategy to build suspense. It keeps people off their guards and has the potential to cause more suffering, and perhaps even widespread panic, despair, and destruction.
BLITZER: Were you impressed by Hagee's endorsement of McCain?
SATAN: Yes, definitely. But that's nothing compared to the Jeremiah Wright controversy, or to Hillary's campaign manager likening Bill Richardson to Judas.
BLITZER: That impressed you?
SATAN: More so Wright. Wright has almost certainly ruined Obama's chances for winning the general election. This will cause pandemonium for the Democrats and make a lot of them extremely unhappy. Heads are already rolling, and it's keeping Hillary's campaign alive.
BLITZER: It sounds a little bit like you're a fan of Hillary.
SATAN: Well, the Judas reference was completely out of line. I know Judas personally. He is a transcendant figure on the spiritual scene. He has paid his dues to get where he is today. Richardson just isn't in Judas's league.
BLITZER: So it sounds like you're leaning more towards Senator Clinton right now?
SATAN: Well, I've actually made donations to the Clinton campaign, but I had to launder the money through MoveOn.org.
BLITZER: So is it safe to assume that you're against the war in Iraq?
SATAN: Absolutely.
BLITZER: Would you ever consider endorsing John McCain?
SATAN: Absolutely not. McCain would move the country in the wrong direction. Any of the Republicans would.
BLITZER: What about Senator Obama?
SATAN: I don't think he has enough foreign policy experience.
BLITZER: So it sounds like you're going with Hillary?
SATAN: If I had to pick someone right now, well, yes, I'd go with Hillary. Her strict adherence to the Democratic Party principles makes her a good choice, and I, more than anyone, support choice. And her campaign's tactics in pursuing the nomination have been admirable. I can't understand why no one believes her sniper-fire story.
BLITZER: So are you endorsing Senator Clinton?
SATAN: I'm holding off on an actual endorsement for now.
BLITZER: Okay, okay. Well, I won't try to force you.
SATAN: Good idea.
BLITZER: Any comment on the Rush Limbaugh voter fraud controversy?
SATAN: That Limbaugh is a terrible influence on the American people, and the Democratic Party will have him thrown in prison!
BLITZER: Well, as always, we appreciate your having taken the time to speak with us today.
SATAN: Always a pleasure.