Posted by
beltway girl on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 1:43:47 AM
EXCORCIATED PRESS, Washington, 9:52 p.m. ET. Updated.
A crazed pastor went on a deadly rampage this weekend, culminating in an event held by the National Press Club this Monday morning in Washington D.C.. The prospects of genuine racial healing in this nation have been critically wounded; the presidential campaign of Barack Obama is feared to be dead.
Pastor Jeremiah Wright of Chicago was provided with the weapon-- a microphone-- by various parties, including said National Press Club. The parties who provided the weapon said Pastor Wright had no prior history of such actions, even though complaints from publications-- most notably including National Review-- and by individuals like Sean Hannity of Fox News had been registered as early as January.
Wright engaged in wild rants before millions, insulting Jewish and Irish people, saying Zionism is racism, accusing his critics of putting him in chains, embracing Louis Farrakhan and his Nation of Islam, and claiming that the educational system is biased against African American children who learn from a different side of their brains than children of European extraction. The enraged preacher also noted that America had incited the 9/11 attacks with its "terrorist" activities overseas.
The enflamed pastor did little victory dances from the podium, sang Italian arias, rolled his eyes repeatedly, and spoke in a mocking impersonation of your typical white person. He noted that should Mr. Obama be elected president, he'd be "coming after" him because of America's inherently flawed policies.
When asked about his reckless behavior, the crazed pastor kept noting that he was "running for Jesus," another oppressed black man. He compared black Jesus' Italian persecutors to United States Marines.
Wright apparently said that his motive was defense of the black church in America, which-- according to Wright-- was being brought under attack with attacks on the offender, Wright.
Wright also said he had his sights set on the vice presidency.
Wright had a close relationship with one of the victims, Mr. Obama. And many are speculating that this was a crime of passion, and an effort from Wright's point of view to save Mr. Obama from becoming too imbued in the Man's world.
When asked for comment, Mr. Obama and his campaign, in a barely functional and near-comatose state, kept murmuring only that yes, they, can.
When former president William Jefferson Clinton was asked for his view of the events, he asked only where Jesse Jackson was, and then continued to rave about the new southern-style chicken sandwich at McDonald's. He said he didn't care for the pickles.
The Indiana primary polls, showing Mr. Obama tied with Mrs. Clinton shortly before the episode, now show Mrs. Clinton with a nine-point lead.
When asked about the events, Father Michael Pfleger, a Chicago priest and activist, said there were no bad people, only bad microphones.
-Staff Writer