Posted by
beltway girl on Wednesday, July 30, 2008 12:38:52 AM
Once upon a time, in a politically polarized place called the United States of America, there was a Democrat sprite named Barackobama. Barackobama busied himself by moving across the urban landscape with his bag of charms. He worked his wonders until the whole, big place took notice. He made people faint with his magical incantations, and even managed to convince a majority of the folk there that foreign policy was actually something caused by space aliens, and the NASA budget should be greatly increased.
All the while Barackobama made his way around, the fierce Giant McCain slept in his lair. The fierce Giant McCain, once respected, was rumored to be a warmongerer once the folk had found the truth out about the NASA budget.
Well, one day, Barackobama decided to make Tim Kaine, a Virginia leprechaun, his running mate. These two now ran across the countryside, spreading their healing fairy magic.
Finally, Giant McCain woke from his deep slumber. When he learned of Barackobama's choice from acolyte Bobby Jindal, Giant McCain began laughing so hard that he somehow injured himself and slipped into a deep coma.
Barackobama became chief of all the States. The NASA budget was vastly increased, but non-space aliens from Iran eventually invaded after manipulating gas prices, and after the ChiComs had bought up about ninety percent of the country.
Well, Barackobama, foolishly thinking that "Death to America!" had referred to only one of John Edwards' Americas, was decapitated, as was Bill Clinton, Newt, W, Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, and all of the descendants of John Kennedy and William Buckley.
The new state allowed John Edwards to live, but only after they'd shaved Edwards' head.
Barry Manilow was also decapitated after singing "I Made It Through the Rain" at a free concert for the new caliphate.
Hillary married a powerful sheik, and ran for president of a prominent Saudi state. She said her opponent was all sand and no camel, and, that for everyone who'd been decapitated, this one was for you.
She won.
Those that survived lived happily ever after.
The End.