Posted by
beltway girl on Saturday, August 16, 2008 4:09:47 PM
Welcome to Clinton Tribute Week, August 25-28, 2008, Denver. This event will have a big impact on Denver and its greater metro area. Expect most of the action at the Pepsi Center, but events will also be scheduled at alternative venues. Please contact Barbara Boxer if you want to participate in the Choice Project, where feminists will be building a Coke Center, later to be used as a Planned Parenthood. All tools donated to the project will be awarded to young women seeking to pursue careers in heavy manual labor jobs previously thought to be unsuitable for women.
Here are some of the events you can look forward to at Clinton Tribute Week. (Please note that some events necessarily overlap with topics relevant to the upcoming general election.)
BREAKFAST WITH BILL AND HILLARY- Aug 25, 8 a.m., McDonald's Restaurant Drive-Thru and parking lot near the hotel. BYOB.
INVOCATION- Aug. 25, noon, Enchanted Forest Trail, Denver. Delivered by Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, and a yet to be determined lesbian pastor to be chosen via raffle (see our home page).
WHY I DECIDED TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT- Aug 25, 4 p.m., Pepsi Center. A speech delivered by Hillary Clinton.
WHY SHE DECIDED TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT- Aug. 25, 8 p.m., Pepsi Center. A speech delivered by Bill Clinton.
LUNCHEON WITH LANNY DAVIS- Aug. 26, noon, Pepsi Center.
WHY HILLARY DECIDED TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT, AND HOW THE FORCES OF EVIL DESTROYED HER CHANCES- Aug. 26, 2 p.m., Pepsi Center. A speech to be delivered by Lanny Davis.
GUERILLA WARFARE: FEMINISM IN THE 21st CENTURY- Aug. 26, 4 p.m., Pepsi Center. A seminar hosted by Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, and Anderson Cooper.
WHY MY OWNER DECIDED TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT AND THE CASE FOR SPAYING BILL- Aug. 26, 5 p.m., Pepsi Center. A speech by Socks the Cat, sponsored by Petsmart and PETA. Free cat toys!
HOW AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN CAN DEFEND THEMSELVES AGAINST BLACK MALE MACHISMO- Aug. 26, 6 p.m., Pepsi Center. Speakers to be determined.
WHY MY MOM DECIDED TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT- Aug. 26, 8 p.m., a speech to be delivered by First Daughter, Chelsea Clinton.
CROSBY, STILLS, NASH & YOUNG REUNION- Aug. 26, 10 p.m., Pepsi Center. To the extent possible.
DOCUMENTARY: REMEMBERING WOODSTOCK- Aug. 27, midnight/12 a.m., Pepsi Center. Raffle with door prizes, win John Kerry's Silver Star! Fireworks.
BREAKFAST WITH BARBARA STREISAND- Aug. 27, 10 a.m., Pepsi Center.
IF I COULD WALK WITH THE BEARS- Aug. 27, noon, Enchanted Forest Trail, Denver. A nature walk with Nancy Pelosi.
IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN- Aug. 27, 3 p.m., Pepsi Center. A speech by Al Gore.
CIGAR WORKSHOP/HOW TO FORGIVE YOUR SPOUSE AFTER HE MAKES NOT ONE, BUT TWO HUMAN BEINGS BEAR THE SUFFERING FOR HIS OWN DEMENTED SEX DRIVE AND/OR CONFUSED SEXUAL ORIENTATION- Aug. 27, 5 p.m., Holiday Inn Gift Shop. Bipartisan. Hosted by Hillary Clinton and Larry Craig's wife. Please feel free to leave your children at our child care center, operated by the Gay/Lesbian Alliance, or our child care center operated by Rainbow/PUSH.
ROLL CALL VOTE- Aug. 27, 6 p.m., Pepsi Center. ALL DELEGATES SHOULD CONTACT LANNY DAVIS BEFORE PROCEEDING TO THE VOTING AREA.
OBAMA NOMINATION SPEECH- Aug. 28, time to be determined. Invesco Field*
(*=This event may be moved to Hidden Hills Little League Field, 3809 Pinecrest Dr., Denver.)
(All attendees are advised to monitor their electronic mail inboxes for any unexpected change of events.)