Posted by
beltway girl on Tuesday, October 14, 2008 2:40:40 AM
THE DEMOCRATS
Get it over with! First, it was Hillary. Then, it was Edwards. Then, a discussion of whether this other, completely independent individual should consider continuing his campaign if his wife has cancer. Any of my business? No. Then, it was Barack not being black enough. Then, it was Bill's fading blackness from his first-black-president presidency. Then it was Hillary's ineviability. Then there was Iowa. Then it was CHANGE. Then it was Jeremiah Wright. Then it was New Hampshire. Then it was Hillary's cleavage. Then it was Hillary's pantsuits. Then it was Operation Chaos. Then it was shot-and-a-beer Hillary, the working man with cleavage in a pantsuit. Then it was CHANGE again. Then there was Chris Matthews' leg. Then it was CHANGE again forever, maybe. Then there was The One. Then there were the superdelegates. Then there was the day The One clinched. Then there was the Hill/Bill Show and the Barack schism. Then there was the price of oil. Then there was the convention, and "This Is Spinal Tap." Then there was the fixed roll call vote.
And then, there was one. (Not to be confused with "The One.")
Although, let's face it, they're (The) One in the Same.
THE REPUBLICANS
First, there was John McCain. Then there were Mike Huckabee and Fred Thompson. Then there was the fair tax. Then there were the loaves and fishes. Then there was South Carolina. Then there was the fried squirrel in the dorm room.
And then there was John McCain.
GENERAL ELECTION
First, there was the Agent of Change. Then there was the war hero. Then there were the oil prices. Then there was the media. Then there was the Russian Front. Then there was the Dem Panic. Then there was the 3 a.m. text message. Then there was Joe Biden. Then there was no Hillary. Then there was the yawning. Then there was John Edwards again. Then there was the Palin pick. Then there was Bristol's Baby. Then there was the pig in lipstick. Then there was the Financial Meltdown down on top of Fannie and Freddie. Then there was the Right Panic. Then there was the bailout. Then there was Billy the Bomber, ACORN, and the inevitable Barack Obama.
NOW
First, no candidate is inevitable until he wins the election.
Second, don't underestimate Billy the Bomber.
Third, just pick one out. Just pick one out. We can look forward to stuffing our turkeys, doing our holiday shopping, and living our lives.
And then, there will be one.