The idea of it coming down to a little place like Gettysburg or Vicksburg sounds way, way too much like something out of "Gone with the Wind."

 

But in this case, the civil war is over, and it is now impossible for Hillary to come back.  She would have to go after Obama's character with a hacksaw.  She would have to tear Obama into tiny bits and pieces until he looked like something left by starving wolves in a frozen wood. 

 

And she'd do it, but she's also have to get her second round in Florida and Michigan, saying that she doesn't want these voters not to count, while at the same time leveraging herself with superdelegates in such a way as to suggest many of Obama's voters really shouldn't count. 

 

She'd do that, too, but she'd also have to pull off sweeping victories in the remaining states so she could make her back-by-popular-demand pitch to the superdelegates.  And she'd probably have to start crying again, too.

 

But this time, the superdelegates would be the ultimate judges of Hillary's political viability. 

 

Ah, the superdelegates.  The Party of the People's ultimate check over the judgment of the people.  That touch of political provincialism introduced by the Democrats to protect them from lunatics receiving the nomination.  But this time, that check being exercised not against a Gary Hart, but a Barack Obama.

 

If she ended up "winning" the nomination in this manner, she would alienate a whole constellation of voters to the point where she could never get them back.  The ramifications of such an outcome would make the reaction to the remarks of her husband-- the Lady Macbeth of this election-- after South Carolina look like a virtual love feast in comparison.

 

Even if all the pieces in the unlikely plan fell into place, it's clear that Mrs. Clinton cannot win the nomination without destroying even her own chances in the general election.  Jonathan Chait has discussed many, many aspects of this in a recent column for the New Republic.   Chait said that by the time she was through, she wouldn't be able to beat Hitler's dog in the general election. 

 

One has to agree with that assessment, not only because of the public outcry over the Michael Vick case, but also because of the dynamic Obama has introduced into this race.  He doesn't want the same, old politics.  But here, alas, are the same, old Clintons.  Hillary would take all the unsavory steps necessary to secure the nomination; actually, she's already taken a few of them already.  The Clintons are not above these tactics.  One would think, though, that they are above cutting their own throats on the way to the general election, and this is exactly the outcome that this will produce. 

 

For this reason, and this reason alone, one can assume that the civil war is over.  But it's not any thanks to the Clintons.  They would escalate this to the point that if the Democratic Party had a red phone, it would be ringing at Obama's house at three in the morning, and James Carville would be on the other end of the line. 

 

But it won't happen.  You have to admit, though, that you cannot be completely sure in this case.

 

Will Hillary turn into one of those bad ex-boyfriends people always have horror stories about where if it wasn't going to be him at the prom, it wasn't going to be anyone?  Would the Clintons rather see the Republicans in the White House than a Democrat other than Hillary?  Will Bill end up like the crazy housemaid in Hitchcock's Rebecca?

 

Do they think McCain is a better Democrat than Obama?

 

For answers to these questions, please stay tuned, as the Bill and Hillary Show enters what reasonable people could believe are its last days.

 

 

It's still curtains.

 

And let me tell you how I know this.

 

You know, I blog for fun.  I'm not a "pundit."  But I watch them all the time.  Sometimes, right before I have to go and take an aspirin so I can come back and watch them some more, they'll say something that interests me.

 

The map, you know?  They pull those maps up all the time to show how Mrs. Clinton has all these blue states, and Mrs. Clinton has won this swing state, and Mrs. Clinton has won that swing state. 

 

Ohio!  So goes the nation(except in 1960)

 

!

 

And Obama's a big loser with all these red states (boo!  hissss...) that the Democrats will never carry in the general election.

 

So, you know, I got out a big wall map we have here, and I looked at some websites (really hard to understand ones, like Wikipedia), and do you know what I found?

 

True blue (or safe blue) states right now include Washington, Illinois, Hawaii, Maine, Vermont, DC, Maryland, and Connecticut.  And Obama has won these.  Safe or true blues also include California, Rhode Island, New York, Deleware, New Jersey, and Massachusetts, and these have gone with Clinton.  Now, pundits, I think the score on that is eight to six.

 

Ah, but the pundits will fall over each other countering with the Super Blue Theory.  Mrs. Clinton has carried the ball for the Democrats in electorate-heavy New York, California, and Massachusetts!  Don't you know what this means?

And if Hillary is the one to deliver the super blues, the Democrats are going to be using those super blues in more ways than one.  And they will be double-edged.

 

It's still curtains for the Bill and Hillary Show.

 

But it's pandemonium for the Democrats, as Hillary swings through the air, virtually grabs hold of the curtains with her teeth, and bites down, hoping to bring them down with her before she can get back on her feet again.

 

Nothing could possibly illustrate this scenario more clearly than the BYOB election concept.  Candidates, bring your own ballots, and pay for the Florida and Ohio do-overs.

 

Now, how exactly is that supposed to play out?  And who exactly is going to be monitoring the results of these revolutionary new BYOB elections?

 

This sounds more like something out of the Republican playbook.  When Mitt Romney foot the bill for his campaign at different junctures, many of us shook our heads at the idea of Megabucks Mitt trying to buy his way into the White House.  But now, the Democrats have come up with this latest stroke of complete insanity. 

 

"Pay your own way!"

 

"Right, well, if you want it, go and pay for it yourself!"

 

Isn't the Democratic National Committee going to sound like the way Democrats have always portrayed a pair of bad Republican parents?

 

Let's hope it only does end up being Bring Your Own Ballots and not Buy Your Own Comeback. 

 

This entire thing is shaping up into a big, big mess.  Aren't the Democrats-- particularly Mrs. Clinton-- the ones concerned with our image around the world?  How exactly do they think this is going to look?  Even Fidel Castro-- the Mr. Saturday Night of communism-- is going to be scratching his beard at this one, provided he's still alive.

 

But back to Hillary with the curtains in her teeth, what is even more incredible than the BYOB election proposal is Mrs. Clinton's completely objective plan for just seating the delegates.

 

Seating these delegates. 

 

These delegates, from these don't-count elections, from these supposedly nullified contests.  Where (in one state) Obama's name wasn't even on the ballot.

 

Is she kidding?  Alas, no, she is quite serious.  We don't want these voters "disenfranchised."

 

No, no, it's much better to disenfranchise the voters who listened, who may not have voted that day, who followed the rules and didn't bother, perhaps. 

 

Let's disenfranchise them!  Voters are sure to be disenfranchised in Mrs. Clinton's scenario, too.  But not the voters that gave her the nullified victories, and this fact may not matter when it comes to principle, but it definitely matters to Mrs. Clinton's campaign.  "Shame on you, Barack Obama!"  And he was borrowing tricks from the Karl Rove playbook.  Well, you have to hand it to the Clintons, I don't even know if you could find a playbook with the tactics they've adopted regarding Florida and Michigan.  The celestial choir is definitely not singing; it's more like the soundtrack from Goodfellas.

 

 

 

 

 

HILLARY: It's the hat again.

 

DOCTOR: Okay.  Tell me about that.

 

HILLARY: This time, I turn into the hat, and all the cattle start complaining about being taken in boxcars to a brokered convention.  And then, they all start screaming, "Yes, We, Can!  Yes, We, Can!"

 

DOCTOR: Yes, well, we've already discussed the fact that you have deep-rooted anxiety where Obama's charisma, brilliant rhetoric, and ability to connect with the voters are concerned.  It's giving you repressed feelings of guilt.

 

HILLARY: Mmhmm.  Well, one of the cattle that was screaming had a cigar in his mouth, and I think it was Rush Limbaugh.

 

DOCTOR: Yes.  Well, this confirms my theory that much of your guilt since the Ohio and Texas primaries stems from subconscious fears that Limbaugh has made you into a pawn by encouraging crossover voters from his own party to vote for you, thus sabotaging Obama's legimtimate chance for victory in the general election.  Not to mention the damage done to the party by making the voters watch you viciously attack Senator Obama right through to Pennsylvania and perhaps beyond.

 

HILLARY: Mmhmm.  Well, then the Limbaugh cattle pulls out a cell phone.  And all of a sudden, I'm in the White House, and it's--

 

DOCTOR: 3 a.m.?

 

HILLARY: Right!  So I figure it's Limbaugh calling to torture me, and I don't answer it.  But..

 

DOCTOR: Yes?

 

HILLARY: Well, it turned out to be a catastrophic crisis in the Middle East, and Obama ended up taking the call.  So I got impeached and Obama became president.

 

DOCTOR: Interesting.

 

HILLARY: I'm afraid to close my eyes now.  I keep hearing the cattle, "Yes, We, Can! Yes, We, Can!"

 

DOCTOR: Mrs. Clinton, when you were in Ohio, did you eat your way across the state again?

 

HILLARY: Yes I did.

 

DOCTOR: Did you by any chance have...  a steak?

 

HILLARY: Yes I did.

 

DOCTOR: Did you enjoy the steak?

 

HILLARY: Yes I did.

 

DOCTOR: Did you leave a tip this time, Mrs. Clinton?

 

HILLARY, Why, no, I must have forgot--  Oh, oh, I think I see what you're sa--

 

DOCTOR: Yes, You, Can!  Yes, You, Can overcome all of this repressed guilt, Mrs. Clinton.  Yes, You, Can!

HILLARY: So, I have this dream, and it's always the same.

 

DOCTOR:  What is it?  The hat?

 

HILLARY: Yes, the hat.  I've turned into a hat.

 

DOCTOR: And this is in the field of cattle.

 

HILLARY: Yes.

 

DOCTOR: We've discussed this before.  This is a reference to your Texas campaign, and how you alluded to the fact that Obama was all hat and no cattle.  Meaning, no substance.  But in reality, you yourself fear you're all style and no substance.  Do you understand?

 

HILLARY: Mmhmm.

 

DOCTOR: Now back to Texas and that 3 a.m. ad.

 

HILLARY: Mmhmm.

 

DOCTOR: Where did the idea for that ad come from?

 

HILLARY: I don't recall.

 

DOCTOR: You don't recall?

 

HILLARY: No.

 

DOCTOR: Think hard.

 

HILLARY: I don't know.

 

DOCTOR: Okay, but you approved the ad.

 

HILLARY: Well, yes.  Listen, you've already disclosed to me that you're an Obama contributor, and--

 

DOCTOR: Hillary, don't you think this ad makes you to appear to be something of a hawk?  And I mean, when you appeal to your base, you're always trying to look dovish.  Why did you run this ad?

 

HILLARY: Because of the state I was in.

 

DOCTOR: But Hillary, John McCain's the hawk.  You're supposed to be the victimized dove.  Are you planning on running this ad in Pennsylvania?

 

HILLARY: No.

 

DOCTOR: Why not?

 

HILLARY: Because of the state I'm in.

 

DOCTOR: Look, Hillary.  The ad isn't in keeping with your statements about wanting to take your vote back on Iraq.  You showed that when the phone rings, you don't know how to answer, or what to say.  Obama, on the other hand--

 

HILLARY:  It's hard.  You know?  It's hard--

 

DOCTOR: Mrs. Clinton, stop crying.  Now, Obama--

 

HILLARY (screaming): Look, you, what state am I in?  Texas is a conservative state!  I need to look like a hawk!  I have to look like a strong woman!  Pennsylvania is a whole different bag of cats!  Now, damnit, what state am I in?

 

DOCTOR: Dissociative state, altered state, it's hard to tell--

 

HILLARY: How many delegates do they have?

poted march 5 http://uscorrespondent.blogspot.com

 

 

 

 

March 3, 2008, from http://uscorrespondent.blogspot.com/

 

Right now, there should be someone out there printing up an "I Survived the Clinton Machine" tee shirt in Obama's size.

Yesterday, one of our cable news networks continually provided the averages for the Ohio polls, and the end result was a slim Clinton lead and the illusion of suspense. I stand by these words today, even though certain polls-- including Rasmussen, I believe-- have shown a less precarious Clinton edge. Mrs. Clinton is losing her grip on Ohio just as she has in Texas.

This illusion of suspense is curiously similar to the illusion of choice that exists in both campaigns.

It really and truly does appear that the plug will be pulled on Clinton campaign life support. The Bill and Hillary Show (christened by National Review) will go on, but it will no longer be the main event. For some of us who actually watch trends in the polls-- rather than glomming figures together to keep viewers in a state of suspended disbelief-- this is no surprise.

There is no longer any real choice in the Democratic race. But the Democrats are no strangers to creating choice where no reasonable choice exists, and our pimped-out media are no strangers to perpetuating myths.

On the Republican ticket, we're seeing the same thing except more so. Mike Huckabee wants to hang in there. He is not going to win, but he can further carve out a power position for himself in the party. This same dynamic will soon kick into play with the Clintons, but in the opposite direction.

Very large numbers of voters in both parties are on the road to nowhere right now. The Republican portion of this curious bloc knows it; the Democrats are still in denial.

The difference is not trivial. Republicans, on a whole slate of issues, are better able to come to terms with reality than the Democrats. When Republicans throw their votes away, they recognize it. They have backed a loser, but they have their own reasons for doing so.

Hillary voters, on the other hand, don't see their votes as being wasted. Not until tomorrow, when the plug is actually pulled, will they open their eyes and realize there was no real choice after all. The candidate of inevitability will have been proven to be... evitable.

The Campaign of Denial can arguably take some comfort in the fact that it will now belong to a party with a cadidate who is actually favored to win the White House. A candidate who will actually have an inauguration. One that might emerge as the clear favorite.

But I doubt it. The same people who right now cannot free themselves from either the illusion of suspense or of choice will find precisely this scenario completely unacceptable at worst, and highly uncomfortable at best. This segment of the Democratic Party sees loss as something honorable and decent, and something actually to be striven for. They have found their girl, and it will be hard to let go. They may have to. Oh, they could still vote Republican in a last-ditch effort to lose, but this could backfire, and McCain might actually win.

Obama is right. Hillary has painted his supporters as a bunch of dreamy and delusional fools who can't accept reality. A bunch of Uncle Billys, if you will, with the strings around the fingers telling them what day, and which way, to vote. In the end, the exact opposite will be true. And tomorrow, when those skies open up, and the celestial choirs sing, and the light shines down, the Democratic party might actually have emerged with a winner.

March 1, 2008, from http://uscorrespondent.blogspot.com

 

Hillary's campaign could have been-- and very nearly was-- destroyed at New Hampshire. As Fred Barnes pointed out not all that long ago, a cadidate that had won both Iowa and New Hampshire would traditionally be that party's nominee.

But she got her comeback and said she wanted to give America the same kind of comeback New Hampshire had given her.

So what happened?

The New Hampshire victory was not necessarily a nod of approval toward what National Review has so aptly referred to as the Bill and Hillary Show. Rather, it was a recoiling by voters from going abruptly from one candidate of inevitability to another. Indeed, a New Hampshire loss would have been an early end for Hillary, and a coronation for Obama.

For a generation that has come to see issues of inalienability now as matters of "choice," a nomination without that choice would have seemed downright un-American. In truth, the New Hampshire victory did not really raise Mrs. Clinton from the dead. It only put her campaign on a sort of political life support. Once Iowa began the process of dethroning Hillary with a shocking third-place finish, the future of the Clintonian monarchy was in serious jeopardy. On top of this, the New Hampshire polls all inexplicably pointed toward an Obama crowning in New Hampshire. The numbers fed into the downward spiral of the candidate of inevitability on television screens, in newspaper headlines, and ultimately in the minds of voters.

After Iowa, Hillary was well on her way to meeting the fate of the New England Patriots before the Patriots themselves were undone. And New Hamsphire really didn't change anything.

The same factors that have brought us into the Texas-Ohio storm front were in place from the very beginning. The iconic figure of change with the nuts-and-bolts community organizer experience. Yes, he did have the experience of a community organizer. But he also had a brilliant mind and the oratorical skills of a JFK. He was young. He was charismatic. He was African-American and thus able to refute the inevitability of the history-making First Woman President. He had a health care plan similar to hers and ideas for tuition relief. He had also been against Iraq from the beginning.

A campaign more in touch with reality than the Clintons' would have recognized the threat. But a sort of bubble of overconfidence put the Clinton campaign floating in a fog where the only thing to fear was fear itself.

Not in this case.

So as we head into the storm front, we might recognize that some storms have already done the damage and died down. Survivors have emerged as well as the fallen. At this point, the wiser parties have recognized the real storm to come and have taken shelter in their strongholds, bracing for the coming Obamacain.

- beltway girl

March 2, 2008, from http://uscorrespondent.blogspot.com/

 

The seventies have been over for a long time. The Bees are gone. The Coneheads are gone. Point/Counterpoint is gone. Falling Chevy Chase is gone. The Wild & Crazy Guys are gone, and so's Mr. Bill. (Into the White House, and who the new punching bags were is anyone's guess.)

What is left is a little bit of sharp political satire and not much else. And we've all got to wonder about even that when Mike Huckabee and Hillary Clinton provide some of the funniest moments for the new Not Ready for Primetime Players.

The creative genius that put Saturday Night Live on the cutting edge is long gone. Remember the Bees? And Todd and Lisa? These were funny. They were creative and original. They required a spark of imagination that people would call a gift because they came out of nowhere. And the people who came up with these ideas would never talk about thinking outside the box because no one who uses that phrase is really outside. They weren't making fun of any one person or thing in particular. Oh, perhaps the awkwardness of youth with Todd and Lisa, and even Wayne's World. But these are more universal themes which are shared, and which all people of a society can relate to. Belushi and Akroyd didn't need to craft jokes out of watching a political debate. They didn't need to rely almost exclusively on a specfic media event that they could watch and figure out who, what, and how to mock. A lot of their best humor did not make fun of any one specific someone or something.

And that, in a nutshell, says a lot not just about this one program, but about what has happened to our entire culture. The show seems to be reflecting a cynicism and meanness that has caught hold of the national psyche, and which has drained the real life genius and fun out of not just SNL scripts, but the population as a whole.

When Saturday Night Live was first airing, and still funny, the Cold War was still being fought and a whole host of social issues thrown up by the Sexual Revolution had yet to be codified into the society's social framework.

Several decades later, there is no Evil Empire to attack, so many Americans seem to have resorted to demonizing each other. No doubt this always went on, but you'd have to really wonder if it is not now at an all-time high. And the bits and pieces of embraced traditional values that were in place before the sixties are now antiquities. You can catch glimpses of them in decades-old films and television shows at midnight screenings that modern audiences probably text message their way through over beer and pizza. I do not know if this generation will be like mine; my generation, and the one before it, laughed at the past. And they laughed hard.

Saturday Night Live isn't funny anymore. And neither is a lot of what is happening around us. It is one thing to laugh at the past. But when the laughter fuels the destruction of what was nurturing in society-- and what made the average person feel safe and secure, and maybe even happy-- the laughter stops.

So goes Saturday Night Live and its nation.